Oh Sweet Love

[ElainaM]

I was waiting tables at Mortons, for those of you that are not familiar with it, it a a very upscale (read expensive) steakhouse. Had a table of two couples, nice people but seemed a bit out of their element. I go over to check on them and refill their wine, one of the ladies is not at the table. As I am pouring the wine I notice that everything on the table is jumping a little bit. I look over at the guy who's wife is missing with a quizzical look on my face. He is sitting there with a beet red face with a look I don't usually see with bright lights on. Just as it dawned on me what was going on, the wife pops up from under the table, wiping her mouth.......yick. I just smiled and asked if they were ready to see the menu.

[maliasma]

Originally Posted by ElainaM

I was waiting tables at Mortons, for those of you that are not familiar with it, it a a very upscale (read expensive) steakhouse. Had a table of two couples, nice people but seemed a bit out of their element. I go over to check on them and refill their wine, one of the ladies is not at the table. As I am pouring the wine I notice that everything on the table is jumping a little bit. I look over at the guy who's wife is missing with a quizzical look on my face. He is sitting there with a beet red face with a look I don't usually see with bright lights on. Just as it dawned on me what was going on, the wife pops up from under the table, wiping her mouth.......yick. I just smiled and asked if they were ready to see the menu.

[Kirbyfan]

Originally Posted by ElainaM

I was waiting tables at Mortons, for those of you that are not familiar with it, it a a very upscale (read expensive) steakhouse. Had a table of two couples, nice people but seemed a bit out of their element. I go over to check on them and refill their wine, one of the ladies is not at the table. As I am pouring the wine I notice that everything on the table is jumping a little bit. I look over at the guy who's wife is missing with a quizzical look on my face. He is sitting there with a beet red face with a look I don't usually see with bright lights on. Just as it dawned on me what was going on, the wife pops up from under the table, wiping her mouth.......yick. I just smiled and asked if they were ready to see the menu.

Now thats ballsy!

[maliasma]

Originally Posted by Kirbyfan

Now thats ballsy!

Pun intended???

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by ElainaM

I was waiting tables at Mortons, for those of you that are not familiar with it, it a a very upscale (read expensive) steakhouse. Had a table of two couples, nice people but seemed a bit out of their element. I go over to check on them and refill their wine, one of the ladies is not at the table. As I am pouring the wine I notice that everything on the table is jumping a little bit. I look over at the guy who's wife is missing with a quizzical look on my face. He is sitting there with a beet red face with a look I don't usually see with bright lights on. Just as it dawned on me what was going on, the wife pops up from under the table, wiping her mouth.......yick. I just smiled and asked if they were ready to see the menu.

She couldn't wait for the wine list?!?!

[Daddy B]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

She couldn't wait for the wine list?!?!

What's wrong with having an apéritif first?!

[Jillian]

Originally Posted by SUNBABY

That was funny. Makes me think of the craziest places I did the deed.

Me too, I just started thinking about that guy....nevermind

Why doesn't stuff like that happen to me?

[Daddy B]

My contribution:

The other day I got a call from one of my best Playa friends. No one said anything, just noises, someone pressed the wrong key.

But then, the sounds got familiar: for the next two minutes or so I listened to an excellent rendition of the oral variety and to words of encouragement and praise from the recipient of such magnanimous dispensation of favours.

Names witheld, of course.

[MWC]

Originally Posted by ElainaM

I was waiting tables at Mortons, for those of you that are not familiar with it, it a a very upscale (read expensive) steakhouse. Had a table of two couples, nice people but seemed a bit out of their element. I go over to check on them and refill their wine, one of the ladies is not at the table. As I am pouring the wine I notice that everything on the table is jumping a little bit. I look over at the guy who's wife is missing with a quizzical look on my face. He is sitting there with a beet red face with a look I don't usually see with bright lights on. Just as it dawned on me what was going on, the wife pops up from under the table, wiping her mouth.......yick. I just smiled and asked if they were ready to see the menu.

I just can't imagine being that good friends with anyone.

Hell in a handbasket, that's where the world is going!

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Daddy B

What's wrong with having an apéritif first?!

Not a thing...

...in order to cleanse the palette

[ElainaM]

Originally Posted by MWC

I just can't imagine being that good friends with anyone.

Hell in a handbasket, that's where the world is going!

Sometimes I think we are already there.
The other couple just sat there with horrified frozen smiles on their faces.
This was by no means a private booth. It was a semi circle booth that faced the whole dining room. As it turns out they were really very nice and I had a lot of fun with them. About 10 minutes after they left, they came back in with the same horrified look on their faces. Seems the valet took their van for a joy ride and totaled it. They lived an hour and a half away, my manager and I ended up driving them home.

[Mercy]

Originally Posted by roni

Have you ever flown to a far away town to see a lover you have not seen for some time. She meets at the airport in a seriously sexy dress. You go to the airport parking garage, and although it is not busy she parked on the top level, where there are very few other cars.......

Has that ever happened to you?

Uummmm.... no.

[cpfstich]

If the guy was a store employee, I bet she blew his job!

[Bluespicker]

Originally Posted by himynameisjan

I'm not sure this story is appropriate for the forum, if not feel free to remove or moderate it. I wanted to share it,because in my twisted little mind, it was dang funny.

In the past I have come across little leftovers of lovemaking... on the beach, in the woods, on elevators (huh?). Not surprising, I'm all for making love not war, but could ya pick up after yourselves.

I've run across a young Italian couple making sweet (and athletic) amore in the woods near a Roman bridge in Umbria.

I've had a flasher show me his howitzer on a busy street. *side note here, when you see a flasher, if you point enthusiastically and yell loudly, "that looks like a penis only smaller" the flasher will not be your new best friend. I have smart a$$ issues.

This one takes the cake though. Earlier today as I'm leaving the local supermarket, I notice a man standing by a car waving his arms. I think he is assaulting the woman sitting in the car, so I watch and get ready to dial 911. Slowly it all becomes clear. He is not in a violent mood, but rather a romantic one. He is standing inside of the door on the passenger side and his lady friend is doing him a favor of the oral sort. Oh God the romance of it. The freaking grocery store parking lot. This man had best come up with something better for Valentines Day, or I'm thinking his future trips to the store will be solo.... not that there is anything wrong with that. So, now you have the true story of how I spend my days. Not chasing a buck, but as a voyeur of the highest order. Moving from parking lot to parking lot.

There's a country song begging to be written.

[maliasma]

Originally Posted by cpfstich

If the guy was a store employee, I bet she blew his job!